8yrs a promis ring and 2 children later he wont talk about marriage with me ?

You won't like my answer. Exactly what is your complaint? YOU are the one that decided to just live together It's not like it just slipped your mind that you hadn't walked down the aisle in a wedding dress. So, time goes by. two kids-no marriage. More years- you get a "promise" ring. More years. No marriage. Over the years, you tell the SINGLE guy you are playing house with that you wanted to get married. No marriage. So, what do you expect anybody to tell you? Your situation is exactly what you accepted many years ago. YOU are the one that wants to change things. Lady, you have exactly what you've accepted. Now, IF you really found any part of this "relationship" unacceptable- two kids and 9 years wouldn't have happened. So IF you don't want to just play house any more, stop playing house. Perhaps if it's a choice between marriage and losing his long term live in honey he may marry you. But, in fact, he NEVER asked you to marry him, so the only real obligation he has is to his children. You aren't some poor tragic victim, you simply have gotten tired of just playing house. Nobody has taken advantage of you, lied to you, or tricked you. You've been aware for a LONNNNG time that the guy wasn't eager to get married. You picked this relationship- so you have exactly what you picked. By the way, "promise"ring is the most asinine idea I ever heard. I guess that's what children do after they get too old to be giving girlfriends their high school cl ring or varsity jacket to wear, but are still too immature for marriage. It's either that, or a way for single guys to get their girlfriends to shut up and stop bugging them to marry them.