I'm DONE. How do you find closure for remaining childless after having tried to conceive for nearly a decade?

I waited for nearly 10 years, 8TCC and two for the hubbs to discover enthusiasm for adoption. Even after we found out we were both sterile I hoped in spite of reason. I had an epiphany recently and realized I no longer wanted a baby. All that pain and disappointment has changed me. The worst part is where these realizations, no matter how sad, usually bring some measure of peace, this doesn't. I am experiencing profound loss and I can't find a single person to talk to who has been exactly where I am. Everybody I know either has, plans to have, or never wanted:children.Nobody seems to believe me. He thinks if we get lucky I'll change my mind, but I won't, and it will destroy me. All of a sudden he was keen to adopt, but I can't help that it's over for me. It's like it's not okay to admit to this, like every waiting mother has an obligation, that even heartbroken, she may not ignore. I'd rather be childless with him than a mother without him, and we are going to be okay, but some peer support would be super helpful.